Nightshade: A SimLit | Chapter 89: Temptation

Sometimes, being the boss wasn't as fun as you'd expect. Sure, having absolute authority over your employees and being able to do whatever you want, or telling them to do it for you, sounded luxurious at first, but there were often overlooked downsides: namely, the long days spent in a boring office doing paperwork. Truth be told, Alexander lost his zest for life a long time ago, and along with it went his passion for work. He no longer worked tirelessly in the lab to find new scientific breakthroughs that he could brag about, nor did he even seem to care if anyone else did. He lived only ever doing as much as was required of him, seeing it as nothing more than going through the motions. Surviving, not thriving. On days like this, he often found himself ignoring the paperwork and instead drifting into a train of thought. Sometimes it was about trivial things, whatever it took to distract him from his emptiness, perhaps deciding on what club he'd waste his night at, or how drunk he could stand to get over the weekend. Sometimes, the thoughts were deeper.

Today, they were consumed by Aurora.

No matter how many months passed, he couldn't forget her. He replayed their lustful night again and again in his head; like a shameful, wild fantasy that he couldn't stop himself from indulging in. But the bitter aftermath would creep its way back into his consciousness as well, and the guilt would only continue building up inside of him, growing stronger every time he reminded himself of how wrong he'd been. It was a psychological torture inflicted upon him by his own mind... and the only thing worse than torture was knowing that he couldn't fix it. Despite his scientific genius, he couldn't simply create a time machine and go back to fix his mistakes. Consequences would never be temporary like that, yet it didn't stop him from imagining what would have happened if he could fix everything, or if he'd never been so blind in the first place. For the first time in his life, Alexander had realized what a fool he was. But that realization came far too late.

"Alexander?"

He glanced up from his desk as he heard the sound of someone entering his office. "Oh, hey, Jo. What's up? Did someone cause an explosion in the lab again? Because I'm really getting tired of that."

"...the only one that causes explosions in the lab is you." Jo raised an eyebrow. "But, uh, no. I actually wanted to inform you that someone just showed up here a few minutes ago. She said she was looking for you and that it was an urgent matter, but I don't recognize her. She wouldn't tell me her name."

He stared at her quizzically. "I wasn't expecting anyone to barge into my workplace looking for me, but... send her in here, I guess?"

The two of them exchanged one more confused glance before Jo nodded silently and turned to leave. As the door shut behind her, he leaned back in his chair, already considering who it could be. None of his admittedly high number of recent hookups should know where he worked. Did one of them find it out? Was he being stalked? 'Maybe she just couldn't resist coming back for more,' he thought.

Maybe he was right.

The sound of the doorknob turning once again caught his attention, and every muscle in his body tensed as the no longer mysterious woman stepped inside of his office.

Endless words all raced to his mind at once, but got caught in his throat when he tried to speak them. He never thought he'd see her again, yet here she was, silently standing in front of him and seeming to have the same struggle with words that he was. Finally, he sputtered one out. "...A-Aurora...?"

She looked different. Her hair was grown out notably longer, and she wasn't dressed in her typical alien fashions. She twiddled her fingers nervously, lips slightly parted in preparation to speak, almost as though she'd come here knowing what she was going to say but every bit of it slipped her mind when she laid eyes on him. "...Alexander, I... I'm very sorry to bother you again. I know you said you didn't want to see me anymore, but... I just... I missed you."

Slowly, Alexander rose to his feet, not taking his eyes off of her for a second. "No, don't be sorry. Please. You have no idea how much I've been wanting to talk to you since... everything happened."

"...You... want to talk to me?" Aurora was taken aback by the sincerity of his tone. 

"I do want to talk to you. But I don't want your apology. Ever since you left, I've been miserable, Aurora. I was wrong for how I treated you... so, so wrong. I never meant to hurt you. I'm the one that should be sorry..." His voice was soft, almost cautious, as he spoke to her, and she could see tears forming in the corners of his eyes. She'd missed everything about him, and as much as she wanted to forget he even existed, she couldn't. And now here she was, dragging herself back to him, prepared to pathetically apologize and beg for his forgiveness. She never thought it would be the other way around.

His footsteps were nearly silent as he came closer, finally stopping mere inches away. "I just... I've been going through a lot since Brynn died. I wasn't ready for what happened between us. I-I didn't know how to handle it, I freaked out and lost control of my emotions. I'm not even going to try to justify my actions, or my words, but... I didn't really mean any of it. You've always meant a lot to me, and nothing could change that so easily. I hope you can forgive me for how much pain I caused you... I know I don't deserve it, but I'm begging you for it. I'll never hurt you like that again, I swear..."

She seemed stunned by his words. "I'm not angry with you, Alexander, or else I wouldn't have came back. I understand why you reacted the way you did now, and... I forgive you. But I want to apologize to you, even if you don't want to hear it. I should have been more understanding of the fragile emotional state you were in and kept control of my own feelings, rather than taking advantage of yours. T-That isn't what I was trying to do at all, but I... I was desperate. I'd wanted you to want me for so long. I know that's a terrible way to feel about a married man... I really tried not to, but you... you were the only person who really cared about me, so I..."

Aurora's voice trailed off as he reached out to take her hand. 

"Hey... it's okay. The past is in the past, right? All of it. We can fix everything and just... start over," Alexander said, managing a slight smile. 

"You're right." Hesitantly, she laced their fingers together. "I'd like that."

He glanced down at their joined hands. It was a much softer gesture than he'd expressed to someone in a long time, but surprisingly, it felt right. "...I hope you don't mind me asking, but... how did you even find me?"

"...I have my ways," Aurora sighed. "Recently, I actually moved away from Sixam and to San Myshuno. I needed change. That's when I started looking for you."

"You moved from Sixam? It could be so much easier for us to stay in contact now. I think I'm going to have to formally ask for your number," he winked.

"...maybe you can have it, but..."  Silence fell between them. Her playful smile faded into a sorrowful expression, but she quickly averted her gaze, hoping he wouldn't notice. "...I don't want you to get the impression that I'm just here to come onto you again. You know how I feel about you, and I know that you don't feel the same way about me, so... we should just stay friends. Nothing more than that. You understand, right?"

"Aurora, while you were gone..." Alexander was hesitant to continue. "...I've been looking for every single way I could think of to make myself happy, or at least to feel less empty. Hookups, more drinking, some probably illegal stuff--"

"You've been doing what?" She interjected, suddenly seeming concerned. "Alexander--"

"Wait, wait," he insisted. "None of it really makes me less miserable. Not for more than a little while. It's like putting a band-aid on a bullet hole. Maybe it feels a little better for a moment, but... it doesn't actually fix anything. I'm starting to realize that what I've been looking for the whole time is a way to fill not only the void that Brynn left, but the void that you left. I need you. Because... I love you. I know that for sure now."

Their eyes met, and Aurora couldn't resist reaching out to caress his cheek. "...You really... love me?" Part of her couldn't believe it. The concept itself felt so unreal, impossible, even. Not just the idea of Alexander loving her, but of anyone loving her. She wanted to believe she'd experienced love before, but none of her past relationships truly fit the description of it, no matter how many times her partner insisted it was true. Was he going to be the same way? Were all of his words worthless? She had no reason to believe him. All of this could just be a tactic of temptation, to make her trust him again only so he could break her a second time.

If it really was just a tactic, then he'd certainly played her for a fool.

"I do. I swear." His gaze was intense, burning right into her soul. Her heart was pounding. She didn't stand a chance against him.

Their lips crashed together so quickly that neither of them were really sure who initiated it. The kiss was fervently desperate as the two of them pulled each other closer, holding tightly, perhaps believing that if they let go they'd slip through each other's fingers all over again, but Alexander clearly had no intentions of letting her get away a second time. His hasty footsteps steered the two of them to the corner of his desk and he trailed a hand down to her thigh, guiding her to sit down.

Aurora was the first to break away from the kiss, slightly breathless. "J-Just what do you think you're doing?"

He smirked, thoughtfully tracing his thumb along her lower lip. "Proving how sorry I really am..."

"...how are you going to do that?" She already knew his intentions good and well, but it didn't stop her from flirtatiously questioning. 

"Why tell you when I can show you?" His hand moved to entangle in her hair. "If I really want your forgiveness, don't I deserve to have to beg you for it?"

"Mmm... I guess so," she began, her cheeks flushing slightly, "so if you really want forgiveness, you're going to have to earn it..."

 Their judgement was clearly clouded by desire, considering the fact that neither of them had even questioned what they were about to do on top of an office desk. As their lips met in another ravenous kiss, the thought that this could be a mistake undoubtedly crossed both of their minds, but they didn't care. They were drawn to each other like magnets, polar opposites in some ways but so much the same in others, and once they were together, they just couldn't pull themselves apart.

Similarly, Jo couldn't pull her eyes away from the shocking scene in front of her when she passed by the office door and looked in the window.  Her face twisted into an expression of pure horror as she muttered to herself: "...What. The..."

No one would ever know how she finished her sentence on that fateful day.