Nightshade: A SimLit | Chapter 101: Scars

Rays of evening sunlight illuminated the living room in a rich, warm glow, the same orange hue as that of the flame burning on the floral-scented candle placed on top of the coffee table. On the sofa, Orion and Skylar were cuddled up together, staring at the television screen as the end credits of the show they'd spent all day binge-watching; a corny drama with far too much forced romance subplot, slowly scrolled by. Lazy Saturdays spent together like this were something that they both looked forward to throughout the week, and Orion dreaded when the day drew to a close and she had to leave. Recently, it had begun to feel as though home was only home when she was there in it.

"Well, I guess I should be heading home." Skylar grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. "I'd rather not walk there in the dark."

He gazed up at her with the most pleading expression he could muster, hoping his tired eyes and pouty expression could tempt her to change her mind. "Do you really have to? We still have a little longer before it gets dark... you could stay here and cuddle me for like, ten more minutes."

She smiled, amused. "You're never satisfied with just ten more minutes and I'm never able to resist your adorable begging face. If I don't say no to you now then I'll be stuck staying here all night." 

Orion shifted his position and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, guiding her closer to him than she previously had been. His eyes locked onto hers and glistened in the window's light, reflecting a twinge of desire that she'd never seen in them before, yet the corners of his lips tugged into a gentle smile -- alluring, captivating, like he knew somewhere deep down she couldn't resist it, nor would she want to. His voice was quiet, but perhaps slightly deeper than he usually spoke, in a sultry tone that made her breath hitch in her throat. "Then stay with me. Please..." 

Skylar was hardly even conflicted; she'd been waiting for an invitation like this, for the day she wouldn't need to go home and could instead spend the night entangled in his embrace. "Okay... but are you really sure you want me to--"

He silenced her sentence with a kiss, the answer to her unfinished question clearly an overwhelming yes. In turn, she clung tightly to him, pressing her lips fervently against his soft, delicate ones and grasping lightly at the fabric on the back of his shirt. When they parted, he averted his gaze but didn't let go of her, and a blush crept across his cheeks. "I'm sure. If it were up to me, you'd never leave me here alone again..."

Skylar moved only to climb onto his lap, weaving her fingers through his silky hair and brushing a few strays away from his face as she did so. "I wish I'd known you felt that way sooner or I wouldn't have renewed my apartment lease."

"No, it's okay, we can take our time moving in together," he replied. "Until we do, I could always be clingy and ask you to stay over more often." His hand rested itself dangerously high on the back of her upper thigh. Perhaps he didn't notice it, or perhaps he did. She assumed his innocence unless proven guilty. 

She smiled, unable to help from chuckling quietly. "I won't complain if you do." 

Orion fell back to lie down and tugged her with him. It seemed chaste at first, but their position was compromising and their hearts were pounding erratically, hard enough that he could feel hers beating against his chest. They were caught up in the moment, unable to resist the longing that came with it. Close was no longer close enough, boundaries blurred at their edges, begging to be crossed... 

Their lips met like a wave crashing against the sand; intense and passionate, and it felt as if they were pulled into the water, drowning in each other, unable to breathe, struggling to the surface only for a single gasping breath before going under again. Gradually, the kiss softened until their lips only just barely brushed together, and then Skylar moved away from his lips, peppering the rest of his face with slightly ticklish kisses, then his jawline, where they became less ticklish and instead traveled agonizingly slowly in a downward direction. 

He gasped softly when her lips reached his neck, his eyes fluttering closed in response to the foreign sensation of a loving touch. The more love she gave him, the more he'd always end up craving it, and today, he thought it must have been insatiable. He wanted all of her love, all that she was willing to give him. It was like a drug, an addiction; he had no rational thoughts left, only the sense of bliss that she was providing him. 

But that quickly changed. 

In an instant, far darker thoughts surfaced in Orion's hazy mind. It was the same feeling he'd felt so many times before: her lips, brushing lightly against his throat as fangs pierced deeply into it, her weight firmly planted on top of him to ensure his struggling was futile. It suddenly felt like he was being crushed, suffocated, like he could feel the phantom sensation of the tips of fangs preparing to clamp down, the blood trickling down his neck, the hot tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He was lost in the memories and reality distorted -- he felt Tiffany there, tangible, real, underneath the grasp of his tightening fingers. He felt her hands roaming his body, her nails clawing at his skin. Every muscle in his body grew rigid, every fiber of his being cried for help. But he couldn't move, he couldn't cry; he was locked inside himself, helpless as he'd always been. When he found his voice, it was weak. "Stop... p-please, stop..." 

Slightly startled by his outburst, Skylar withdrew and gazed down at him worriedly. Tears were already beginning to stream down his face, and there was fear written in his eyes, almost like it wasn't her that he was gazing up at, but something terrifying. 

"O-Orion?" Her concern was etched on her face and laced in her voice. "Are you okay? Did I do something wrong...?"

The sound of her voice snapped him back to reality. The relief of safety washed over him, but he only cried harder from the overwhelming terror that was pumping through his veins. "...S-Skylar... I..." His voice gave out and he only sobbed more heavily. 

"Hey, it's okay," Skylar said softly, moving her hand to caress his cheek. From the corner of his eye, he saw it and flinched at the movement. Her heart sank and she sat up, giving him space to do the same. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to--"

"N-No, don't apologize..." Orion pulled his knees to his chest and looked away from her. "You... you didn't do anything wrong, I-I just... I'm really sorry, Skylar, I can't... go that far. I'm not ready..."

"It's okay, you don't have anything to be sorry for. I-I got kind of carried away without realizing it, I wasn't even thinking of it like that. I promise that I wasn't trying to make you feel like you needed to do anything you didn't want to..." She frowned and cautiously scooted closer to him. "Please talk to me... tell me how you're feeling and what I can do to help." 

He hesitated. "I-It's just that... Tiffany... used to force me to do things. This kind of... intimacy isn't something I've ever really experienced in a positive way... a-and honestly, I find it terrifying. When you were kissing me, I started thinking of her, and it felt so real, like I was reliving it again... even when I opened my eyes, for a moment, it wasn't you there. It was her..."

Skylar was silent as he explained, her heart aching more with each passing word. She searched for words to reassure him with, but was it really possible to comfort someone with this deep of wounds, the kind that left scars that never truly faded away? 

"Sweetheart," she finally began, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder, "I can't ever understand what you went through, or how this makes you feel... but it's okay. I don't expect anything from you. If you're not ready now, or if you're not ready ever, it doesn't make a difference to me. I love you regardless." 

Orion blinked, stunned by her statement. "R-Really? But... I don't want to disappoint you. You deserve someone who can--" 

"You won't disappoint me," she interrupted. "I couldn't ask for anyone better than you. Whether or not we ever get to that level of physical intimacy really isn't that important to me... there are so many other ways to express love." 

He sniffled as the tears started to dry on his face. He couldn't understand why she'd ever want someone as broken as he was, but knowing that she truly respected his boundaries was even more surprising. "I... I don't know what to say. I love you, and I trust you... I do want to go all the way with you someday... I-I just don't know if I can..." 

"I know... I'll be happy either way as long as I have you." She smiled warmly and held out her arms for a hug. "Come here..."

 He leaned in close enough for her to pull him into his arms. She soothingly ran her hand along his back as he clung to her, and they sat in silence like that for a long while, until the tears stopped and he managed to relax into her warm embrace. "Thank you, Skylar," he whispered softly and closed his eyes, overwhelmed by love instead of fear.