Nightshade: A SimLit | Chapter 107: Two Plus Two

 

 It was always quiet in rural Windenburg late at night save for the rustling of leaves in the wind, certainly quiet enough that the two could hear the thud of their footsteps against the stone bridge beneath. The chilled, gentle breeze tousled their hair as they walked in shared silence. In the few minutes it'd taken them to make their way from Alexander's house to here, not a single word was spoken between them despite the fact they'd intended to talk. The atmosphere was tense, awkward; neither knowing what to say or how to say it. 

Aurora was the first to buckle and attempt to break the silence. "Um... thank you for agreeing to take Artemis for so long, on such a short notice... I know it was a lot to ask. But... are you sure you can handle it? The responsibility?" 

He hesitated to answer. "...you don't trust me. You think I haven't made as much progress as I--"

"No, it's not that!" Aurora quickly interrupted. "I-I know you're doing really well in therapy and all that. Amelia swore you haven't been out drinking and clubbing and... whatever else. I talked to her before I came to drop him off. Well, she texted me about it."

Alexander sighed. "I'm sure I can handle it. He's my son. I want to, but..."

"...are you really sure you want to leave for so long?" 

 "It's only two weeks, Alexander. This is a really big opportunity for me. I'm actually getting to take the runway for a super important fashion show in Champs Les Sims. Not to mention the photoshoots, the interviews, the sexy magazine covers..." 

"The sexy-- okay, look, what if you keep getting opportunities? Having a job like yours means traveling a lot, being away from Artemis a lot... Is that what you want?"

"Do you have a problem with my job?" 

The silence lingered too long after that. His tongue was twisted in knots with so many words right on the tip of it, fighting to be spoken. One finally won the battle. "...sometimes."

They stopped walking.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Alexander tensed when she turned to face him. Neither of them could look each other in the eye. "It's just that... he'll miss you."

"Is that really it?" Her skeptical tone only made him more nervous. 

He lifted his gaze and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'll miss you."

Aurora wasn't sure if she should be surprised or not. She stammered, trying to choose her next words carefully. "I'll miss you, but..."

"But what?"

"I-I..." She turned away from him. "I should go."

"Don't."

"Alexander--"

"Before you go, I... I need to tell you something." 

Every muscle in her body told her to walk away; except her heart, which ended up being the strongest. She already knew deep down it would be something she both wanted to hear and shouldn't listen to, yet she turned again to face him. "...what is it?"

Gingerly, his hands rested on her arms. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what...?"

"For everything I've put you through the past few years," he said quietly. "I know I hurt you, and that I've been a complete asshole. It doesn't matter what I've been going through or what I've been dealing with... you didn't deserve to suffer just because I was suffering."

Aurora looked up at him, her jaw slightly slack as she studied his expression. The walls she'd built to keep him out were crumbling at the sincerity in his eyes. "...I forgive you. I did a long time ago, because I know that you never had bad intentions, you just..."

"Hey, I don't want you to make excuses for me. I've always blamed everyone and everything but myself, but... I'm ready for the truth now," he said, "and the truth is..."

Slowly, his hand slid up to rest on her cheek, gently tilting her head up to meet his gaze. Her breath hitched as he came closer, his eyes not leaving hers. "I love you, Aurora... and I have for a long time. I promise you... that's the truth."

She was putty in his hands and she hated it -- or at least she should hate it, but she didn't have the will to. "I..."

"You could do better than me. I know I don't deserve a second chance," he continued, disregarding what she was about to say before it ended up being inevitable rejection, "but I'm begging you for one. I-I was in denial about the way you made me feel for so long. I thought I wasn't allowed to feel this way again after Brynn, and so I pulled you close just to push you away, over and over..." His words were pouring out too fast to stop now. "I-It was wrong. I was wrong. So please give me the chance to be right, because no matter how hard I've tried to let you go, I can't change the way I feel about you. Maybe I'm selfish, but I just... can't. I don't want to." 

She finally spoke with a hint of sadness. "Do you really mean it when you say you love me? Or do you love the way you felt when you were with me?" 

"You," he replied softly, "I just want you for you. Nothing less, nothing more."

Aurora's mind was racing a million miles per minute, right on pace with her pounding heart. She'd sworn to herself this wouldn't happen; she'd forget she ever loved him and move on to find someone better. Someone who would really love her, not just her body, someone who wouldn't pry their way into her heart with irresistible lies...

But these weren't lies, and the truth was just as irresistible. 

Alexander sighed. "I understand if you don't feel the same way. You don't owe me your love after what I did. You don't owe me anything, but--"

"No, I want you, too. I want you-- us to have a second chance."

"But..." There was a long pause. "...why?"

Her body pressed closer against his as she leaned in, eyes fluttering closed just before their lips brushed together. 

"I never let you go, either..."

The kiss was the opposite of ones they'd shared before; soft and slow, brimming with the emotions that had always been there but never had the chance to be felt.

Alexander hadn't expected feeling them to feel so good.

_____

"Come on, pick up..."

Skylar clutched her phone to her chest as she paced back and forth impatiently, her sense of dread growing with every unanswered ring. Finally, a voice came through, but it wasn't who she expected.

"Hello?"

She was quiet for a moment, other than a sniffle and a deep breath to compose her emotions, before speaking. "Onyx? Hey, um... is Amelia home?"

"No, not right now. I didn't realize she left her phone on the coffee table when she went out earlier." Onyx frowned. "Is... everything okay, Skylar?"

"Y-Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

"You sound like you've been crying."

Skylar sunk down onto the floor, leaning her back against the sofa. "...nothing's okay and I don't know what to do, I-I guess I thought maybe she could help me figure it out," she said quietly. 

"Hey, I'm here for you," he said, "whatever's going on, you can talk to me. I'll listen."

"Onyx, you..." She paused. "...you wouldn't understand. Maybe in some ways, but not really." 

He was only growing increasingly concerned. "Tell me anyway and I'll try my best? I'm worried..."

"You have to promise me you won't say anything to anyone else..."

"I promise."

There was a moment of hesitation before she blurted. "I-I'm pregnant."

He nearly dropped his phone. "I'm sorry, you're what?"

"I-I've been feeling... off lately, and then this morning I woke up feeling really nauseated, so I took a sick day from work and convinced Orion to go anyway after like fifteen minutes of arguing about it, and at first I figured maybe I was coming down with something but then I started realizing the possibility of being pregnant is a thing now so I panicked and went to the drugstore to get a pregnancy test and it's positive--"

"Hold on, slow down," he interrupted. "You're absolutely sure it was positive?"

"I took two and they both are..."

Onyx sighed. "And you aren't telling Orion before anyone else...?"

"H-How do I tell him that!?" She was snappier than she meant to be. "We've only been married barely more than a month, I can't just... ask him to be a father again, not after what Tiffany put him through... w-we weren't planning on having any kids. I've never particularly wanted to be a mother, I don't even know how I feel about this... I can't imagine how he'll feel. I'm just-- I'm scared." 

"...when I found out I was going to be a father, I was scared, too."

 "Really?" Skylar asked.

"Yeah. I never got the chance to meet my father, so I didn't really know how to be one. I was terrified I'd be a bad parent," he said. "The last thing Amelia needed to worry about was me, so I just dealt with my feelings on my own. But you know what? I fell in love with Kiera the moment I saw her." 

"What are you saying?"

 "I'm saying you'll both feel the same way. I know he's been through a lot, and you're both going to be scared, but... he's a great dad. You'll be a great mom. Everything's going to be okay, Skylar, just tell him. Orion loves you. He'll love the baby, too, no matter what."

She hugged her knees, quietly considering his words. "I hope you're right..."

"I know I'm right. Call me back and let me know how it goes, alright?" 

"I will, thanks. Bye..."

"Bye."

As the line went dead, she couldn't decide whether Onyx's reassurance made her feel any better or not, but it didn't matter. She'd have to tell Orion at some point and it was pointless to try to hide it. It wouldn't be long until he was home from work, so she didn't have long to muster up the strength she needed for the conversation. She dragged herself to her feet and into the bedroom, dread building in her gut as she waited for the familiar sound of the keys in the front door.

___

Figuring out how to share the news was even more difficult than anticipated, leaving her no closer to deciding how to tell him when he returned home. She avoided him at first, allowing him the time to shower and change out of his work clothes before slinking into the living room and forcing words out of her mouth. "Hey..."

Orion glanced over his shoulder at the sound of her voice, worry evident in his own. "Hey, are you feeling better than you were this morning? Is there anything I can--"

"We need to talk."

His body tensed at her serious, almost intimidating, tone. "O-Of course. About...?"

"...sit down first," Skylar quietly said, seating herself on the couch and invitingly patting the seat next to her. He obeyed despite the confusion he was clearly experiencing as she fumbled for her next words.

"Skylar, is something... wrong? D-Did I do something?"

Technically, that was a trick question.

"No, i-it's not you," she reassured, "I just... I don't know how to tell you this..."

He forced a smile to hide his panic. "You can tell me anything. Just say it, it's okay."

"Orion, I... I-I'm pregnant."

"W-What?" The sheer impact of her words sent Orion reeling. At first his lips struggled to form more words, but he quickly found that it was a futile effort. Out of everything Skylar could have told him, he hadn't expected it to be this -- not when they'd only had a sex life for all of one month and it was both safely practiced and what most people would consider infrequent. He struggled to wrap his mind around the concept for what seemed like hours but could have only been seconds. 

"I'm sorry," she apologized quietly. "I know you didn't need or want this right now... I'm ruining your life. Our lives."

His heart sank. Both of those statements were true; he didn't need or want this and frankly, he was terrified of being a father again. Old wounds were reopening. If it hadn't been for Tiffany's pregnancy, he wouldn't have been stuck in a years-long hell that still haunted him every day. But Skylar wasn't Tiffany. 

Skylar wasn't Tiffany.

He mentally repeated until he finally found the strength to speak. "N-No, that's not true," he said, tears starting to glisten in his eyes, "d-don't be sorry... it's okay..."

"You don't have to pretend everything's okay." Skylar's voice was gentle. "I know it isn't."

His facade crumbled and he pulled her into a tight embrace, not saying another word until his spinning mind slowed. "I-I'm scared," Orion confessed, "I know you're scared, too, b-but we can get through this together..."

"I am scared," she began with a trembling voice, "of pregnancy, and of labor, a-and being a mother..."

Gently, his hands rubbed up and down her arm in a futile attempt at comfort. "I know," he softly whispered, "I'm so sorry, Skylar... if someone should apologize, it's me--"

"Don't," she interrupted. "Please."

Silence. It was somehow more painful than when they were talking.

"...I want you to know you won't go through this alone. I'll be here for you every step of the way, okay? I-It doesn't matter if we didn't plan for this, it  happened. Things... just happen sometimes, and... I-I love you so much. I'm going to love the baby, too. We'll make changes to our work schedules, we'll move somewhere with room for the baby... whatever we need to do, I'll make sure it happens."

Skylar knew he was holding back, but what could she expect him to say? "I love you too, sweetheart... but you don't have to do this. I-If you can't, you can leave--"

"I could never leave you, so please don't say that," he quickly interrupted, pressing a delicate kiss to her temple. "I can do this. I'd do anything for you..."

I'd do anything for you. 

Her heart sank. It should have been a reassurance, but it was exactly what she was the most afraid to hear. 

---

Sometimes, it was the unexpected things that triggered buried memories someone would much rather forget entirely: dark shadows lurking just beyond the corner of your eye, the uncomfortable sense of being alone -- yet not being -- in the dead of night, the cries of a baby jolting you awake from yet another nightmare. Orion was struggling with his second chance at fatherhood. He knew he would.

He just didn't expect it to be this hard.

One month. He'd had one month to adjust to the birth of his daughters -- twins -- and the progress felt mixed. Some moments were so close to what he imagined normalcy must feel like. Some moments, he was just as scared as he'd always been. He did know one thing for sure either way: he loved them, just like he promised Skylar he would.

"Shhh, it's okay..." He'd lost count of how many times he had gotten up tonight three or four rude awakenings ago. Sleep never came easy before, but at this point it was a distant memory. Stella's cries were gradually reducing to coos as she was lulled back to sleep once again by the steady rocking of the chair they were seated in. She was typically the least fussy of the twins, but tonight she only seemed satisfied when receiving attention. Luckily for her, it was a hard request for her father to deny.

Orion's soft whispers were just enough to drown out the quiet thud of footsteps in the hallway of the penthouse they'd recently moved into. Skylar lingered in the doorway once she got there, unsure of how to approach without waking the babies. "Orion," she whispered, "I told you to wake me up if they started crying again..."

He jolted slightly, startled by the voice from nowhere, but relaxed at the realization it was only Skylar. "I know, but..."

"You keep doing this." 

Orion averted his gaze as she entered the room. "D-Doing what?"

She couldn't tell if he was playing dumb or genuinely clueless that there was a problem. "Trying to handle everything by yourself..." 

He hesitated before responding. "It's not like that. You're still recovering from giving birth, you need rest. I-I can handle everything by myself... I... I always did before..."

"I know," she said softly, her hand resting over his, "but I don't want you to think that you have to. You're not alone anymore. Stella and Bellatrix are just as much my daughters as they are yours... I love them and I want to do this. I want to do this with you." 

"...It's hard," he admitted. "I think about Rocket and Meteor all the time when I look at them. Sometimes it makes me think of Tiffany, too, and I try not to think about her, but the more I try the more it doesn't work... and..."

Skylar frowned. "It's okay to think about them. I'm sure that's normal after everything you've been through, but it won't be this way forever. Someday you'll look at them and they'll just be... them. You'll think of all the good memories we've made, and you'll think of our family. We just have to work through it together."

Orion managed a small smile. "You're right... t-thank you for reminding me of that. I think I needed to be."

 "Now... please come back to bed? We might have a few hours before they start fussing again... but I'll handle it next time."

"More like we'll have five minutes," he chuckled. "...hey, Skylar?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you so much... all three of you."

"Well, I think I speak for all three of us when I say we love you too."

She leaned down to press a kiss to his lips, savoring all of three seconds of romance before a shrill cry came from the crib across the room.

"Great job, Orion, you jinxed it."

"Sorry..."

But it wouldn't be parenthood without sleep deprivation anyway.