Nightshade: A SimLit | Chapter 45: Birthday Blues

Brynn yanked the key from the front door as it swung open and trudged into the dark, seemingly empty apartment. She hated working late, but today of all days, she had to. She assumed that since the lights were off, Alexander was either upstairs tinkering with something that was likely to cause an explosion -- the perks of having a scientist as a husband -- or today was one of those days he wouldn't get home until unreasonable hours of the night. She hoped it was the latter, because she really didn't feel like calling the fire department... again.

Her boss was bitter and rude, her coworkers knew just how to hit her last nerve, and truthfully, she hated being trapped in that tiny office, staring at white walls and computer screens for eight hours every day. But it was better than sitting at home all day with nothing to do. Alexander often worked ridiculously long hours; she had to occupy herself with something, right? Her mother always told her not to waste her intelligence. She'd taken her advice and gotten a stressful yet boring job for intelligent people. Yet she never complained, and took it all in stride.

As she stepped deeper into the apartment, she noticed a bright light coming from the kitchen and her muscles tensed -- or they would have, if it was possible for them to be more tense than they already were. 'Please tell me Alexander isn't trying to cook something,' she thought. Well, since he obviously wasn't working late, this qualified as her other assumption: that he was about to cause something to explode -- this time it was their poor kitchen.

She peered into the doorway and sighed in relief when she saw he wasn't near the stove, but she noticed the soft glow of flame in front of him. 'Is that...?'

Alexander turned to face her before she could finish her train of thought and grinned, strategically stepping in front of the flaming object to obscure it from her view. "Brynn! You're home!"

Brynn smiled playfully and approached him. "Alexander, what's on fire behind you?"

"On fire? It's nothing, really. Just a cake." Alexander laughed and stepped away from the object. 

Her eyes lit up. "A cake? For me?"

"Happy Birthday, Brynn!" Alexander exclaimed. "You didn't think I forgot, did you?"

"Of course I didn't!" She smiled. "I just know that birthdays aren't really as important to vampires..."

He went quiet for a moment before smiling weakly, his gaze falling to the floor. "Your birthdays are always important to me..."

"But they just mean I'm getting old..." Brynn could feel all of the day's stress melting away as he smiled at her, but something was different about this smile. It wasn't as cheerful and warm as Alexander's smiles always were.

Slowly, Alexander approached and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close as he spoke quietly into her ear.

"I love you, Brynn," Alexander said, and though he was smiling she could hear the quivering in his voice. "I love you so much..."

Brynn shuddered at the sensation of his warm breath against her ear. "No matter how old I get?"

He nodded. "No matter how old you get. I'll always love you."

 "But what if I get all wrinkly?" She laughed self-consciously. She'd already noticed her face beginning to age a little...

Alexander sighed and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You'll always be beautiful to me. Stop worrying and eat your cake."

Brynn smiled brightly and nodded. "Okay. You didn't manage to burn it, did you?"

Alexander laughed. "No, don't worry. Onyx told me how to do it. Actually, I called him and Amelia to ask if they could come over and celebrate with us... they couldn't because of how busy they are with Claire's baby," he sighed. "We hardly get to see each other with how busy all of us are..."

Brynn frowned. "Hey, some day soon we'll both get a day off of work and go see them. I know how much you miss being around your sister."

He lit up. "Really? You mean it?"

"Of course I do," she replied and kissed his cheek. "Now, are we going to eat the cake or not?"

Alexander grinned. "Of course we are," he began. "And after that, maybe we could..." his voice trailed off as he placed his hands on her shoulders, his fingertips lightly rubbing her sore, tense muscles. 

She leaned into his touch. "We could...?"

"Take a nice, relaxing bath together," he suggested with a smirk, "and go to bed?"

"That sounds great... I'm exhausted," Brynn sighed. "The sooner I can sleep, the better..."

Alexander's smirk faded. "...Right. You're right. You deserve some proper rest," he smiled. 

She smiled in response and leaned against him as he pulled her a little closer, his face buried in her neck. As much as she wanted the cake, she didn't want this moment to end. After all, she had to cherish every moment they had.

Because someday, they would run out.

---

It was a sleepless night for Alexander. He had grown tired of counting the hours going by, but he was used to this. It happened every year on this day. The day that was meant only to remind him he was one year closer to losing what he loved the most. It haunted him. He restlessly tossed and turned, plagued by the thoughts of Brynn growing old, wasting away until there was no life left in her...

He couldn't stand to look at her peacefully asleep beside of him anymore. He had to get away and clear his mind, hoping for at least a moment without imagining her death. Quietly, he got out of bed and headed for the bedroom door. He didn't want to leave her side, yet he couldn't stand to be here. 'Maybe I'll just go watch some TV or something...'

Before he made it to the door, he heard a tired voice call out to him. "Alexander? Where are you going?"

He stopped in his tracks and glanced at her. "I was just..." He paused as he realized there were tears running down his cheeks. 

Brynn could hear the pain in his voice and she stood up, carefully approaching him. When she got closer, she saw the tears. "What's wrong? Are you crying...?"

He broke down into tears and placed a hand on her cheek. "Brynn," he sobbed, "I can't take it anymore..."

 "Take what?" Brynn asked softly, a bit surprised by his sudden display of emotion. 

"I can't keep watching you get older! I can't keep living knowing that you'll die!" Alexander cried, running his hand along her cheek. "I can't lose you..."

"Alexander," she sighed. "You know that I--"

"I know you said you didn't want to become a vampire," he said, the sadness evident in his shaky voice. "but I'm begging you, Brynn. Please reconsider... don't do this to me."

Brynn's eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry, Alexander. You know I love you. But I don't like the thought of being... not quite dead yet not alive, just simply existing for the rest of eternity eternity, drinking people's blood..."

 "But it's not so bad. You're right, it isn't the same as being human, but--"

"But that's what I am, and that's what I want to be," she said quietly, averting her gaze. "Human."

There was painful silence between them after that, until she finally spoke again, unable to bear listening to his quiet sobs any longer. "But remember, I will always be with you in your heart. I won't really leave you when I die... I love you, Alexander, and I always will. So don't cry."

Alexander met her gaze. "But I don't want you to die."

Brynn silenced him with a kiss.

It started out tender, but Alexander desperately leaned in as she wrapped her arms around him, needing to feel more of her as the kiss grew deeper. It was full of raw emotion, of a neediness for someone he knew someday would slip right through his fingers, gone forever, and he was helpless to change it.

Neither of them even noticed they were moving until they were against the bed, and without breaking the kiss apart, he pushed her into it and climbed on beside of her, his hands roaming whatever bare skin they could find.  

He savored every moment, every touch, knowing that someday he would no longer feel her skin underneath his fingers or hear her voice calling his name...

The pain in his heart was unbearable. But he he reminded himself that for now, she was here, and he wouldn't take a single second for granted.