Nightshade: A SimLit | Chapter 75: Nothing Left To Lose

"Well, I guess this is goodbye..." Orion glanced between his two sons and then averted his gaze to the floor, sighing softly. "You grew up so fast. I-I can't believe you're already moving out. It seems like just yesterday that you were born, and I held you for the first time..."

Before he could continue on his trip down memory lane, Rocket interrupted. "There's no need to get all sentimental on us."

"Y-Yeah, dad, it's a little embarrassing," Meteor smiled awkwardly. "But, uh... thanks for helping us move into our dorm. We appreciate it."

"Sorry..." Orion managed a slight laugh. "But you're welcome."

"Guess you should head home now before it gets too late, right?" Rocket glanced at the window. "It's already dark out."

Orion frowned. "Yeah, I know..." He looked toward the door and his heart ached at the thought of leaving. To walk out of this room would be leaving behind the only thing that kept him going all of these years. Perhaps the more realistic way to look at it was that he would leave behind the burden that kept him trapped in his torment for so long, but he could never view his children like that. Staying with Tiffany had been worth it all to know that they were safe and loved; to Orion, that had been his true purpose, and today it was finally fulfilled when they left their mother and all of the toxicity behind to discover the much brighter future ahead of them. "But... before I leave..."

The twins tensed as he wrapped his arms around them and pulled them close. "I'm going to miss you both so much," he whispered, his voice slightly quivering. 

Rocket scowled. "Yeah, we know... you've been telling us that ever since we got accepted into this college." He was no longer comfortable with his father. The things that Tiffany told him all those years ago never left his mind, and since then, he'd never been able to look at Orion the same way.

Meteor spoke more gently. "Um... I'll miss you too, dad..." Maybe it was a little true. The pain of knowing the supposed truth would never stop hurting, but no matter how hard he tried, even despite all of his efforts to distance himself on a daily basis, he couldn't force himself to hate Orion.

The hug tightened and tears began to form in his eyes. He didn't know why he was suddenly emotional, but the sinking feeling that he had a reason to be bothered emerged within him.

Orion loosened the hug to move back a little but didn't release them from his grip. He didn't even notice the tears that were now falling. "I love you... you know that, right?"

Rocket was silent, leaving the deception to Meteor. "Of course we do," he muttered, but it was far from the truth.

---

Thanks to traffic, Orion's drive home was a long one, and the house seemed quiet when he got there. The bedroom door was cracked ever so slightly, and he reached out to push it open with slight hesitance. His mind was heavy with thoughts, both new ones and ones that had been lingering for a long time now. Would it really be easy to escape all of this? He hadn't felt the sense of liberation that he'd expected he would feel today. No, he was still just as scared as he'd always been. Surely Tiffany wasn't going to let him go without a fight...

She stalked silently behind him, but he could feel her eyes burning holes through his body. He tensed, preparing for her strike, and tried to find the bravery he'd promised himself he'd have when this moment came.

"I know what you're thinking," Tiffany finally said, her feet softly thudding against the floor as she came closer. "You're thinking of leaving me now that you have nothing left to stay for, is that right?" 

The moment Orion turned to face her, he was quickly cornered against the door, which loudly shut behind him. "...You're right. I am." His voice barely shook, even when her cold eyes locked onto his.

Tiffany only smirked at his unusual display of confidence. "It's cute that you think you can do that. Tell me... where will you go that isn't somewhere I'll find you? What makes you think that I'll just let you walk away from me?" She loomed closer. "You're too weak, too afraid... you know I'll ensure that you regret it if you try to run away. Running is for cowards, anyway..."

There was an emptiness in him unlike she'd ever seen. Her mere presence no longer caused him to tremble, his eyes didn't fill with tears when her harsh words pierced into his mind. He stared at her, the pain that he still felt deep down finally evident in his gaze, before quietly speaking. "I'm not afraid. I have nothing left to lose, Tiffany."

Tiffany growled and lunged forward, her hands slamming against the door behind him. He flinched at the sudden motion, but his empty eyes still focused on hers. He could see the anger building up inside of her, he could already feel the torment that he was sure she had prepared...

But he wouldn't let it happen. Not this time.

"I can smell your fear, Orion. Don't lie to me." Her eyes narrowed. 

"You're the liar," he replied, just barely above a whisper. 

Tiffany chuckled, seemingly amused. "It seems as though you've forgotten how to behave. Fine, then. I believe you, you're not afraid. But now I have to give you a reason to fear me. You're clearly looking for one..."

His heart accelerated in anticipation. It was then that the tiniest spark of fear ignited within him once again -- or maybe it had been there the whole time, but he'd willed himself to believe it wasn't. His only response to her was silence, as though he was waiting patiently for the punishment he knew he would receive.

Tiffany's hand grabbed his arm tightly and, giving it a purposeful twist, she roughly jerked him forward. He let out a gasp of pain and pulled back from her, but her grip was solid. "So now you've run out of things to say?"

"S-Stop!" Orion whimpered, still desperately struggling against her grip.

"If you want me to stop this, then make me!" She snapped. "But you never will, will you!? You'll just sit there and take it like the pathetic little crybaby you are! And I'll never stop. You're stuck with me forever, Orion, and you know it. I'll break you again and again, until you'll never be able to piece yourself back together! Until your eyes are completely void of all the light I see in them... and there's nothing you can do about it. There's no escaping this. You'll never be free!"

Orion's eyes filled with tears as her words sank in. "You're wrong," he said softly. "I can set myself free."

With one last harsh tug, he escaped Tiffany's grip and ran down the hallway, stumbling up to the double doors leading to the balcony. In one swift motion he threw them open and hurried outside, his tears finally starting to stream down his face.

"H-Hey, where are you going!?"

He barely even heard Tiffany's call. 'Enough is enough,' he thought. 'I have to do this...'

He came to a stop at the railing and took a deep breath.

'I can do this...'

He felt weightless the second his feet stepped onto the rails. The freedom that he had craved for so long was just one step away, if only he would be willing to take it.

His life now hung in a delicate balance, his body struggling to keep its footing as he looked down at the ground below him. The gentle breeze tousled his hair, his panicked heart rate slowed. There was little fear of the fate that waited for him down below. Whatever it was, he knew it would take away all the pain. He savored the beauty that he found in the moment, and in that single moment, serenity washed over him like an ocean wave. But the tears didn't cease.

For once, he could be strong. He could be brave. He could be at peace.

He knew he could.

He only had to take that one step...

"O-Orion, what are you doing!?"

Her voice ended the moment, and carefully, he turned to look back at her. 

"I already told you... I'm setting myself free." The sadness, the anger, the pain... it was all coming back to him as quickly as it left. "What does it matter to you if I live or die anyway?"

"Have you completely lost your mind!?" Tiffany furrowed her eyebrows. 

His voice was so weak, so delicate, as though he was already dying before he even fell. "I-I can't do this anymore, Tiffany. Even if I did run away from it all... even if I keep living without you, you'll never stop haunting me. I'll see you in my dreams, I'll hear your voice in my head over and over again... I'll never forget what you've done to me. I don't want to live out an eternity of misery. This is the only way I can finally be free..."

She opened her mouth to speak, but he didn't give her the chance to.

"Y-You got what you wanted. You broke me. And I'm not going to let you hurt me for another second. I'm tired of it all. Your abuse, your manipulation, your negligence... I'm taking the control of my life back. You can't tell me that you'll never let me go, that I'll never be free!" He sobbed. "I'm the only one that can decide my fate, and it ends right here, right now! That's my decision!"

"Even in your last moments, you're still so pathetic." Tiffany's laughter thundered in his ears. "Do it, Orion! Go ahead and jump! If you're so sick of being alive, who am I to stop you? I'm sick of you being alive, too! The world would be better off without you!"

His eyes widened as he stared at her, his sobs falling silent. Maybe what he was feeling wasn't disbelief -- nothing surprised him anymore. But to know that she truly hated him that much...

Tiffany grinned. "What are you waiting for? Are you too scared to do it?"

"Here, let me help you!"

It all happened in a second. He spun around to face her, nearly losing his balance as she lurched forward to commit her ultimate betrayal.

Her lips were twisted in a sickeningly satisfied smirk. "Goodbye, Orion."

He was helpless to do anything but scream as he fell backwards and crippling array of emotions surged through him. Was he afraid? Was he hurt? Was he remorseful? Was he thankful?

He didn't know anymore. All he knew is that it would all be over soon enough.

Falling.

It was as though time stopped entirely. The world was in slow motion all around him, his half-lidded eyes focusing on the starry night above him. The anxiety faded as he embraced his fate readily, accepting the fact that this was the end. He'd rather die like this than live another day being a useless pawn in her game.

Is this the feeling he'd been desperately searching for? The sweet embrace of death, wrapping its arms so comfortingly around him, welcoming him to whatever came next?

Perhaps she was right. The world would be better off without him. 

But he'd be better off without the world.