Nightshade: A SimLit | Chapter 79: Love Never Dies

Science was something that took an immense amount of concentration, particularly if you were new to the field. FutureSim Labs, unfortunately, wasn't the easiest place to focus. There was always noise: mindless chatter between coworkers, the quiet but noticeable humming of machines, the clicking of footsteps scurrying from one place to another against the hard floors... and Alexander.

"Jodie!"

The woman jumped at the sound of her name being shouted nearly directly into her ear, causing the fragile tools she was holding to crash to the floor and break.

"Oh, yikes. You've really gotta be more careful with those." Alexander cringed slightly.

"...Right." She tried to hide her irritability and let out a sigh, moving type something into the keyboard. "By the way, sir, it's just Jo."

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Alexander grinned awkwardly. "Jo. Well, how many times have I told you to stop calling me sir?" 

"You're my boss, it just comes naturally," Jo sighed. "I'm trying my best, sir--" She quickly corrected herself. "...Alexander." 

"Don't sweat it. You'll learn to have less respect for me eventually."  His voice was always loud, but he was at the verge of shouting as he spoke to her. "Anyway, how's your work coming along? The first week is always the hardest--"

"I don't mean to interrupt, but you do realize I'm standing about two feet away from you, right? You don't have to talk so loud. I can hear you," Jo said as she glanced over her shoulder at him. "Although at this rate I'm starting to think I won't even need my hearing aid around you." 

He laughed nervously. "S-Sorry, I just... I'm just trying to make sure you can hear me. Because, y'know, you have hearing problems and..." 

"Don't worry, people do it all the time." She gave him a reassuring, but playful, smile. "But if you keep blabbering at me, I'm gonna have to turn this thing off so I can have some peace and quiet."

"You'll eventually get used to his blabbering," a woman working nearby chimed in. "He's the world's most annoying boss."

"Excuse me?" Alexander cocked an eyebrow. "Kate, I thought we were friends!"

She winked playfully. "Of course we are. How else would I convince you to give me promotions?"

---

Weekdays had become long and lonely for Brynn. Getting older seemed nice at first, considering the option of retirement and finally having a chance to relax, but in reality it felt as though she was stuck in an endless loop living the same boring days over and over again. Recent years left her completely devoid of the youthful energy and spunk she'd once had, and her zest for life was slowly fading, leaving behind an increasingly weary old woman. Yet, unlike Alexander, she'd long grown to accept it. She was content to wither away as any living thing does at the end of it's life.

But perhaps there was a part of her that didn't expect it so soon.

It started as something small. A little nausea, shortness of breath, an odd but dull ache traveling up her arm and to her jaw. The symptoms didn't seem severe, so she didn't worry. Not until pressure in her chest slowly became a radiating burn and the realization of just what was happening dawned on her. But her realization arrived too late.

Even a task as small as fumbling around in her pocket for her cell phone seemed too difficult. Her breaths were more like heavy gasps as she waited for her call to be answered.

"Hello, this is 911. What's your emergency?"

"I..." Brynn took a deep, ragged breath. "I think I'm having a heart attack." 

"Okay, ma'am, I need you to stay calm. Can you tell me your name and your address?" 

It was everything she could do to give the dispatcher her information. She felt herself growing weaker by the second, her blurred vision starting to fade entirely...

"Okay, Brynn, help is on the way." The dispatcher tried his best to sound cheerful despite the worrying situation. But when she didn't respond, his heart felt as though it began to rise to his throat. "...Hello? Can you hear me?" 

His only answer was silence.

---

"So, how's your report coming along, Jin?" Alexander glanced over at the man quietly sitting at a desk. "Is it almost done?"

"It'll be done..." He forced a smile. "Eventually?"

"That's what you said three hours ago," Kate murmured. 

Jin's eyebrows furrowed. "Hey, science stuff takes time!"

The banter at the labs seemed to be neverending. Alexander was thankful he had employees that got along well -- for the most part -- but their shenanigans could often be tiring to deal with. Then again, he regularly participated in them, so he was just as much to blame. "Well, you really need to try to finish it by tomorrow, okay? I need those results so I can--" His words were cut off by the sound of his phone ringing. It startled him slightly, as he didn't usually receive calls at work. Everyone but a few of his most important contacts were set to vibrate. He reached into his pocket, assuming it was likely Brynn or perhaps Amelia, and his suspicions were confirmed when he saw his wife's name on the screen. 

"Is it important?" Jo glanced over at him. "If you need to take the call, go ahead."

"...yeah, it's my wife. I'll see what she needs." There was concern laced in his voice. Brynn didn't usually call him at work unless it was really important...

Alexander quickly stepped aside, to the opposite end of the room, and answered his phone. "Brynn?"

There was a hesitation on the other end of the line. "No, sir, I'm calling from Willow Creek Hospital on behalf of Brynn Wesley, who is currently in our care after calling emergency services..."

He felt his heart drop. "...W-What?"

"She was in possession of her phone when the ambulance arrived and you were in her contacts. Since you shared a last name, we assumed you must be related and thought it was best to call you at the earliest convenience. May I ask your relation to her?"

"I-I'm her husband. What's going on? Why did she need an ambulance?" Alexander's voice shook more with each word. "I-Is she okay!?"

"...her husband," The woman speaking to him paused. "Alright, sir, you need to come to the hospital as soon as possible... your wife is in critical condition--"

Alexander interrupted. "C-Critical condition? I-I'll be there as soon as possible. I'm leaving work right now. Let her know I'm coming... p-please..." 

"...she isn't conscious, sir... our medical team is currently administering CPR."

He felt tears beginning to form in his eyes. "Right... I...I'm on my way... thank you for calling..."

As he hung up the phone and shoved it pack into his pocket with shaking hands, Jo approached him with a look of concern. "What's going on with your wife?"

"I-I don't know, they said she's in critical condition and I need to come to the hospital..." He was already shrugging off his lab coat as he spoke. "I'm sorry to leave in the middle of everyone's shift, but you guys are going to have to manage the rest of the day on your own... no, honestly, you can just leave. I'll still pay you for a full day."

"Hey, it's okay. We've got this," Kate reassured him, pausing what she was currently working on. "Your wife is way more important than the rest of today's shift."

Jin nodded. "It's generous of you to let us go home. I'll finish up the report on my own free time, boss. Good luck with your wife."

"Thank you," was all Alexander could manage before scurrying out the door and rushing for his car.

---

The sterile scent of the hospital burned Alexander's nostrils as he rushed through the emergency room. He was desperate to locate Brynn in the endless maze of halls, trying his best to focus on the directions the staff at the front desk had given him. His eyes finally locked onto his destination and he sped up, his feet nearly slipping on the slick floors underneath him as he burst through the door to her room.

His eyes briefly glanced over the situation. The doctor and nurses were talking loudly among themselves, there was noise coming from every machine in the room, and among all the tension they hardly even noticed his presence.

When his vision finally focused on Brynn, lying motionless on the hospital bed, he couldn't hold back his desperation anymore. "Brynn!" 

One of the nurses turned as he lurched forward toward her. "Sir, you can't come any closer. We're doing everything we can, so please just sit down and--"

"I'm not going to just sit down!"

The doctor looked exhausted. It had taken no more than fifteen minutes for Alexander to arrive, but even in that amount of time, it was clear that Brynn was beginning to lose hope of reviving. "Sir, please, I know you're upset but you aren't helping her by causing a distraction," he calmly said. "If you can't sit down and let us do our job, we're going to have to send you to the waiting room."

At the thought of that happening, Alexander finally broke down into sobs. "You can't do that! Just let me see her! I-I need to see her...! Please..."

"You can see her once she's stable!" The other nurse finally turned to him. "Take some deep breaths and calm down for me, okay? Just--"

He didn't let her finish. "How am I supposed to calm down!? She's dying! You can't let her die! D-Don't... don't let her die..." His emotions were a mixture of anger and despair. He didn't know exactly what, or who, he was angry at. The doctors, for telling him to stay away? Brynn, for being too stubborn all these years, for refusing to let him turn her? The universe itself for allowing this to happen? His mind was falling apart, bursting with emotions that he didn't even know he could feel.

"...We've been attempting CPR for about half an hour, now," the doctor began, his ministrations beginning to slow. "We've tried various different methods. Everything we could think to try. She's suffered from a major heart attack, followed by cardiac arrest. The chances of her recovery after this long are slim to none."

"W-What are you saying?" Alexander's voice finally quieted to just above a whisper.

"...I'm saying that continuing attempts to revive her are pointless." The doctor slowly removed his hands from Brynn's chest. "She's gone."

Alexander could only stare in complete horror as a nurse picked up her clipboard to jot something down. "No," he murmered. "No... no, no, no! She isn't gone! You have to keep trying!"

"I'm sorry." He frowned. "She isn't coming back."

"I told you to keep trying!" Alexander snapped. Hot tears were still streaming down his face as he shoved the nurses aside and stepped closer. "I won't let her die! She can't die!"

"She's already dead!" The doctor harshly retorted. "And there's nothing that anyone can do to save her! We've tried everything we can! It's over."

Alexander's legs felt as though they'd give out underneath him. His shoulders slumped and he shook his head, repeating the same words over and over. "No, no, no... this isn't happening... it can't be happening... t-this can't..."

"...You're free to stay with her until someone comes to take her to the hospital morgue. We'll notify them that they need to come and get her," The doctor averted his gaze. "After that, you'll need to make arrangements..."

"...I-I didn't even get to say goodbye..." Alexander's words were nothing more than a choked sob. 

"I'm sorry that we couldn't save her, sir."

As the medical staff left the room, everything was uncomfortably empty. Alexander knew he was alone despite Brynn lying right in front of him, like he could just feel that she truly wasn't there anymore. He stumbled over to the only chair in the room, nestled into the corner, and pulled it to her bedside. When he sat down and finally saw her up close, reality weighed on his shoulders. Nothing about her looked alive, yet at the same time she appeared to only be sleeping. She made no movement, took no breaths, and when he gingerly placed his hand on top of hers, it wasn't as warm as it should be.

He didn't have the strength to continue his sobs anymore. He could only stare down at her in awe, allowing the pain to overcome him completely until it was too much to bear. He'd always known that he didn't want her to die, but he never expected it to be this hard, or for the ache to run so deep. "...I don't understand how you could do this to me," he whispered. "H-How could you be so selfish, leaving me this burden to bear for the rest of eternity? If you really, truly loved me... you wouldn't have done this." Part of him regretted saying it. He would have, if she could have heard him. But it felt like the truth. "I'll never forgive you for this. Never, Brynn..."

"...but..." Alexander averted his gaze from her, sitting in thoughtful silence for a moment as more tears fell. "...I realize that I'm selfish, too. And I- I'm sorry for that. Maybe I could have treated you better. M-Maybe I could have cherished every moment we had just a little bit more... but... I'm so thankful for the life we had together."

His lips quivered as he looked back down at her. "L-Letting go isn't going to be easy for me. I'm not entirely sure I can. Right now, I know that I'm not ready to, at least. I-It was so easy for you, wasn't it? Because you didn't have to stick around to deal with the pain you left behind. I should have known this would happen. I should have known that you'd only hurt me in the end... but... I can't bring myself to regret going through this..."

"...because I'd do it all over again, a million times if I had to, just to be with you."