Nightshade: A SimLit | Chapter 99: Season Of Change

Months passed. The seasons changed from winter, to spring, to summer, to the early days of autumn, when the weather was only beginning to turn cool and the world still looked alive, with its plants still full and leafy, and the flowers remaining in full bloom. With the changing seasons came change in many other ways, both for better and for worse. Today, though, a peaceful Saturday late-afternoon in Newcrest, it was very much the same as any other weekend for Orion and Skylar, catching up on time together since work kept them so busy throughout the week.

"Just a few more steps, then you can open your eyes..."

"You said that twenty steps ago," Orion laughed. "Come on, I want to see where you're taking me!"

Skylar chuckled, glancing at him to ensure there were no cracks between her fingers he could peek through. "You can see where I'm taking you once we get there. Just go a little further," she said, then paused as he stepped forward. "A little more..."

"How many miles away is this surprise?"

"Stop being dramatic! A liiiittle further..." At this point, perhaps she was just taunting him for the fun of it. "You have to be in the perfect place before I can show you what it is."

"I'm starting to think there isn't a perfect place," he whined. 

Abruptly, she stopped. "...Okay, I think you can open your eyes now."

"You just think?" He brought his hands to grasp her arms, attempting to tug them away from his eyes but to no avail.

"I really hope you like this," she said, still holding her hands firmly in front of his face. "If it's boring or disappointing, we can just do something else."

Orion frowned. "Hey," he softly began, "I'm sure I'm going to love whatever it is that you planned..."

"...In that case," Skylar replied, a smile creeping onto her lips as she allowed him to pull her arms down, "...surprise?"

He opened his eyes the moment her arms fell back to her sides and took a moment to soak in the scene in front of him: a picnic blanket neatly spread out on the ground, surrounded by scented candles that wafted their warm vanilla scent over to where they were standing, and a variety of food scattered around: a basket full of bread and a few ingredients to make sandwiches from, a large platter of fruit and a smaller selection of different colored grapes to the side, a bowl of berries, a pedestal with a sizeable and moist-looking white cake, topped with a thin layer of vanilla icing, powdered sugar and sliced strawberries, as well as a candy dish filled with a rainbow of hard candies, but lots of cherry-flavored ones, which were his favorite. Alongside the food, there was a fancy bottle of what appeared to be lemonade and two equally as elegant glasses already filled with it, although it could have been white wine -- unlikely, however, as neither of them drank. The combined aroma of the food and candles filled the garden with what could only be described as nose euphoria. Orion nearly forgot to respond to her until she anxiously spoke up behind him. "What do you think...?"

"I think this is a perfect date," Orion said. "You're so thoughtful... you must have put so much work into this."

"It was nothing, really," she blushed. "I just wanted to do something nice for you..."

The thought of a significant other doing something nice for him was still strange. He'd been used to groveling at the foot of Tiffany's throne for so long that it was deeply ingrained in him to see himself as more of a servant than an equal. He didn't know what to do with himself if it wasn't worrying about how he could make Skylar happy, if she needed something, or wanted something, because he would give her anything she wanted. Yet she never took advantage of that. She never let him have the opportunity to worship her the way she knew he'd been forced to before by someone else. Sometimes it upset him that she never demanded anything from him. Sometimes, it was refreshing, like he was finally learning what love truly was, even if it was in baby steps. Even the smallest gestures that showed him Skylar cared were like a weight lifting off of his shoulders. A reminder that he was truly wanted. He was worth something to her.  That he could be worth something to himself. "It isn't nothing to me," Orion said quietly, approaching the picnic blanket and taking a seat. For a moment, he paused, then averted his gaze from her shyly. "You don't know how much it means to me. Even small things like this... it makes me feel so... loved."

She smiled warmly and took a seat on the blanket beside him, close enough to rest her head on his shoulder. "You are loved..."

He wrapped an arm around her and gently pulled her closer, reaching with his other hand to take hers. "You're even more loved. You can't love me as much as I love you."

"Oh, what, there are limits now?" Skylar chuckled. "Even if there are, nobody made you the boss of deciding that, so as far as I'm concerned I love you just as much as you love me." A mischievous grin tugged at her lips. "Maybe even a little more."

"...I'd argue with you about it, but I don't think I could bring myself to." His smile widened.

"Good," she said, "because I really do mean it when I say it... you know that, right? They aren't just words, like maybe you've been told before without meaning..." 

His smile faded and he let go of her, shifting to an awkward lounging position. "Of course I know you mean it... even if sometimes it's hard for me to understand why someone would love me." 

He almost regret letting any implications of his trauma slip, but Skylar simply smiled down at him. "I want to help you understand that. Not just how much I love you, but... how worthy of that love you are."

Orion smiled, but it only thinly veiled his sadness. "Can I ask you something stupid?"

"I doubt it's stupid, but... of course you can."

"Do you think... you'd ever stop loving me? That maybe someday you'll get bored of me, or sick of me, or tired of dealing with all of my baggage?" His cheerful facade disappeared as he spoke. "This... this can't last forever, right? Nothing does."

Her heart sank. It hurt her to hear the insecurity in his voice, the deep-down pain that he always tried so hard to mask, yet she could still see it. "Orion... look at me." 

He sat up to meet her gaze obediently, and in turn, she moved closer to caress his cheek. "As long as I live, I will never stop loving you. I won't get bored, I won't get tired, or see you as a burden or something I have to 'deal' with. There are way too many things about you to love for that to ever go away... you're so kind to everyone you meet, even if they don't deserve it. You're the most compassionate and forgiving man I've ever met. You're exceptionally smart, but too modest to ever admit it. You're respectful, you've always been supportive of me... and you have so many more amazing qualities. I know in the past you've been convinced that you aren't enough, but you are so much more than enough. You're everything that I ever could have wanted, even if for a long time I thought I didn't want to love anyone this way... I was wrong. I want to love you. Maybe you think that nothing can last forever, but we can. I want us to... because I could spend forever with you."

"Forever?" Orion's lips curved into a hesitant smile. "Do you really mean it?"

Skylar's thumb gently stroked his cheek, and for a moment he could have sworn he'd melt underneath her touch. "I've never meant anything more than I mean this."

His eyes lit up like the brilliant sunrise cutting through the darkness of a bleak night sky. Tears formed, but he quickly blinked them away and fell back, pulling her down to lie on the picnic blanket beside of him. He didn't take his gaze off of hers, and finally broke the silence though his voice was barely above a whisper. "...I could spend forever with you too." It was almost as though saying it was what made it reality, like it hadn't been believable to him that he'd ever feel this way until he said it, and then it was true, and for the first time in he felt so right, like his whole life had been leading up to her. It was always supposed to be her. This was meant to be, and he knew.

Before she could speak, he'd already wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into an unusually heated, passionate kiss, which she returned with equal enthusiasm despite being caught slightly off guard. He deepened the kiss and one of his hands moved to stroke her cheek, the other rubbing her back but not daring to dip too low. His heart was fluttering, his chest was overwhelmingly tight as though it was threatening to burst with pure emotion. Never had he felt an ecstasy so pure until this moment, when every doubt and every fear he'd been holding onto for so long seemed to melt away. He was desperate for air but he couldn't seem to breathe, even after he pulled away in a panting, blushing mess. 

"...you... you're a little too worked up for a relaxing picnic, don't you think?" She teased, though she struggled to catch her breath equally as much. 

His face flushed. "I-I..."

"Not that I mind," she added, which only flustered him further. 

With a laugh, she shifted their positions. "But, um, this food isn't going to eat itself... so we should probably get to the actual picnic part."

"Y-Yeah, we should," Orion laughed, slightly thankful that she didn't have any more scandalous suggestions about what they could do on the picnic blanket instead. He reached up to play with her hair and sighed softly, taking in the moment, feeling the warmth on his skin of the now setting sunlight, and the even stronger warmth in his heart. "I love you, Skylar..."

"I love you too..."

---

For Alexander, the changes that the seasons brought weren't so pleasant. Alyssa's baby -- a girl, named Alesta -- had been born recently, and after unrelenting pressure, he finally came to his senses enough to agree to a paternity test. After all, in his mind, there was no way that it was going to be positive anyway; she must have been lying, or somehow mistaken. When the results arrived in the mail a week later, he wasn't worried. He had opened the envelope with such confidence that he had nothing to worry about, that for a moment, he believed he must have misread the positive results.

But he didn't.

The positive paternity results sent him spiraling into the same state that finding out he was a father had the first time. A plethora of mixed feelings overcame him, but the strongest was the heartache that reminded him of when he and Brynn had struggled so hard for a child of their own, and when they'd found out it couldn't happen and given up on the idea entirely. How would she feel if she knew what he'd done? Having children with other women, as though she never mattered to him? The shame and disgust, to both himself and his newly born child, hit him far harder than it had with Artemis. The paternity results didn't matter, he decided. Either way, he wasn't going to be a father. Not again. 

The next couple of weeks after that were overwhelming. Alyssa was understandably furious that he still wanted nothing to do with his daughter, and Amelia was perhaps even more revolted by his behavior. Onyx said nearly nothing after their initial conversation about the matter, but he could feel his disapproving stare every now and then, silently judging him. Sometimes, it felt like he just wanted to curl up in bed and never leave again. Perhaps if he just ceased to exist, his endless cycle of wrongdoings would finally be able to stop... but there was no way for him to hide or simply stop existing. He had to face the consequences of his own actions, and right now, they were far more than he wanted to deal with.

And they were about to get even worse. 

"So, uh, about what we needed to discuss," Alexander began as Aurora sat on the couch beside of him, already looking skeptical. "I need you to promise not to freak out, or like... murder me."

"You never want to come to my apartment to discuss things, so this is probably bad. No promises," she said. 

"I didn't technically come here to discuss things, I came here to pick up Artemis for the weekend," he corrected. 

"Yeah, but still..." Aurora sighed. "Fine, whatever you've got to say, hit me with it."

"Okay, so, uhh..." Alexander fidgeted nervously. "Late last year, I got drunk and met this girl named Alyssa at the club, and we had a one night stand--"

She interrupted. "If this is to rub your sex life in my face, I'd rather not hear it."

"Just listen," he snapped. "Anyway, we exchanged numbers and went our separate ways. She never called me or texted me, so I figured it was just a one-time thing... but several weeks later, she finally did. And she... told me she was pregnant, and that I was the only possible father."

He couldn't even look her in the eyes to know her reaction, but he heard her gasp, and then there was momentary silence. "You... you have a kid? With some random woman you don't even know?"

"I-I denied it, but once she was born, I took a paternity test and... it's true. She's my daughter." Alexander sighed shakily. "I just got the results a few weeks ago. I honestly didn't even want to tell you, but Amelia insisted you deserved to know, since this is Artemis's sister..."

"S-So you're going to take responsibility and support your daughter, right?" Aurora asked, but there was a tone of worry in her voice that suggested she already knew otherwise.

"...I already told Alyssa I don't want anything to do with the kid. She's taking me to court over child support, but I have a good lawyer who thinks that he can get me out of at least most of the responsibilities and money she's going to want--"

"You can't be serious," Aurora cut him off. "You have so much money! It's hard enough for me to get something reasonable out of you to support Artemis, and now you're trying to get out of supporting your daughter altogether? Just because you didn't want her?"

"W-Well, I--"

"I don't want to hear excuses!" She snapped. "You need to learn to be less of a little boy and more of a man. You're her father, she needs you! This isn't right!"

"I didn't come here for you to chew me out and order me around!" Alexander looked away from her. "Look, maybe you think this kid needs me, but is that really what's best? Do you really want me to go put myself into her life, when I don't even want to be her father, and I'm certainly not fit to be?" He tried to sound angry, but it was slowly melting into something much more broken. "...when I'm honestly too much of a mess to give her the love that she deserves? Is that what you want? For her to be around a train wreck of an alcoholic that does nothing but sleep around and party all the time? Is that right?"

"You could be better than that," she replied, surprisingly more gently than before. "You have the power to change, if you want to. You could do it for Artemis, and for her... you could be the father that they both deserve. Don't you want to be?"

"I..." He paused, considering it. Of course he wanted to be... but even if he did get help, even if he did try, how long would it take him to piece himself back together? How much damage would he inflict on his own children before he was better again? It was hard enough thinking about that possibility with Artemis. He couldn't pull another innocent victim into his mess of a life. "...I can't."

"You always say you can't do it. You can't get better, you can't stop living the way you do..." Aurora averted her gaze. "The truth is, maybe you're right. I don't think you can change. You're too much of a coward."

Her words stung, but she was right. "...maybe I am."

"Just... get out of my house and go home." Aurora crossed her arms, clearly irritated by him. "You're not in the state of mind to deal with any kid right now, clearly. I'll give you an extra day with Artemis next week to make up for it..."

"I guess I don't have any arguments," Alexander said and stood with a sigh. "You're right, I'm not in the best place to deal with him this week..."

She was silent as he slunk toward the front door like a guilty dog, but when he opened it and stepped outside, she spoke up. "Thanks for being decent enough to tell me, at least. I really hope you have a change of heart about this. I want to believe in you, even if at this point it seems stupid to..."

"No one believes in me anymore, and you'd be a fool to," he muttered and shut the front door behind him.