Nightshade: A SimLit | Chapter 109: Pressure

 

 Foxbury Institute; the most highly desired university in all of Britechester and perhaps even the world. It had a notoriously low acceptance rate, as did any fancy school, so the small margin that made it in were almost certainly certifiable nerds. Rich nerds, at that -- but there were scholarship programs, thankfully, because no one was ever paying off student loans this expensive. One would assume that a university with such high expectations would have students that made every effort to meet them, and usually, this was a true statement, but even straight-A students needed to have fun now and then.

Unless, of course, those students happened to be the most stiff, downbeat party poopers in the dorms, roommates Adiran and Gabriela.

"Well, I guess we should call it a night. I know we want to pass our exams tomorrow, but if we stay up studying the whole time, it'll do more harm than good, don't you think?" 

Adiran glanced up from the mess of strewn papers on the floor. "Yes, I guess so, but..." He pursed his lips. "My grades have been nearly perfect this semester, Gabby, I don't want to fail now. I just don't get why I'm struggling with this particular--"

"Adiran," she interrupted, "I don't think you're capable of failure. You have a really big brain inside of your noggin -- if there's anyone that doesn't need to sweat it over the exams, it's you. I promise you're gonna do great, and I'm not saying studying isn't a good thing, but you're worth more than just your grades. Don't lose yourself by getting too caught up in worrying about them." 

"But--"

"It's okay if you struggle sometimes. I'm struggling too. We're at the most prestigious university in Britechester, I'd be kinda worried if we weren't being challenged a little. But you know what? When we first got assigned this dorm room, we struggled with each other. I mean, I don't really know what they thought would happen when they decided to put a socially awkward neurodivergent and an antisocial nerdy neurodivergent in a room together--"

"I'm sorry, did you call me an antisocial nerd?"

"--but look at us now! We didn't fail, we're friends even though we didn't get everything perfectly right with each other at first. The exams are the same way. Just do your best and you won't disappoint anyone. You're the teacher's pet in every class anyway, they'll mark up your score just because they know you work hard."

Adiran smiled warmly. "You're right... thank you."

"You've helped me overcome so much, Adiran. I've never had a friend that's as understanding of me as you are. So I promise I'll help you overcome this exam! Or, uh... I already did by helping you study. But you know what I mean."

He opened his mouth to respond and was instead interrupted by blaring music from the dorm's common room.

"So much for the party out there quieting down enough to study, much less sleep," Gabby murmured, giving a sideways glance to the door.

Parties. They were an unavoidable side effect of living in a dormitory, but you'd think a bunch of nerdy kids everyone hated in middle school wouldn't run so wild. Unfortunately, you'd think wrong, at least when it comes to the students of Foxbury.

"Of course they're not done causing a racket the night before our exams," he sighed, "that would make life far too easy."

Gabby forced herself to stay positive. "I-It's okay, I'll go talk to them... maybe they'll understand and it won't be an ordeal?" 

"No, I'll go. Apollo's always the one throwing stupid parties. My cousin, my problem." Adiran rose to his feet with an eyeroll. "As usual."

"Then we'll both go," she decidedly replied. 

"Fair enough. Thanks." He half-smiled and headed for the door, unsure if he really wanted to deal with the situation. Not that he had much of a choice.

---

"Is it possible for the dorm to be quiet for just one night, or is that wishful thinking?" Adiran was on the offensive the moment he stepped foot into the common room. He made his way over to the likely culprit, not standing down when the boy turned to face him with an irritable glare. "Some of us have exams tomorrow. Your party's over, Apollo. Turn the music off."

"Please," Gabby politely added with a grimace.

"Hey, first of all, you can't just assume I'm responsible for all this partying!"

"...you're always responsible for the parties," Adiran deadpanned.

"Yeah, yeah, so what if I am?" Apollo shrugged. "It's not my fault you're the only two people at Foxbury who don't know how to have fun."

"This has nothing to do with having fun!"

"Look, you're the smartest guy here, Adiran," he continued, leading both of them deeper into the room while he spoke -- not that he'd give them any options other than to follow. "You're gonna pass the exams tomorrow with flying colors. So why don't you loosen up a little?"

"Loosen up...?" Adiran frowned. "I'm not here to join your party."

Apollo sighed. "If you ask me, it's not your grades you need to bother worrying about. You know everyone thinks you're a boring loser... maybe now's your chance to pull the stick out of your a--" 

"He's not a loser!" Gabby interupted. 

"I don't mean that I think he's a loser, I'm just saying!"

He glanced between the two of them, conflicted. What was he supposed to say? He could find out what his cousin's decision of fun was and maybe everyone would stop making fun of him all the time, or he could do the responsible thing and just keep being boring loser Adiran. It was a choice he had to make on the daily; he always chose to be himself above all else despite the constantly growing peer pressure. But was that always the best decision? Day by day, he questioned it more. Tonight, he needed the answer. "...maybe you're right." 

It wasn't clear who was more stunned by his response. Gabby said nothing and Apollo only grinned from ear to ear in that way Adiran knew was bad news because it made him the spitting image of his father right before all hell broke lose.

"I-I guess I can stay, but only for a little while," he continued, then glanced over at his friend. "Are you in?"

"Um..." Her discomfort was palpable. "I'm really sorry, but... I shouldn't. I-I can't. I need to rest up for tomorrow and..." Gabby's voice trailed off as she turned away from him.

"I'd just be a wallflower anyway," she finished quietly. "H-Have fun and don't do anything stupid, 'kay?" 

"Uh, yeah, of course." Guilt panged in his chest as she hurried back to their dorm room. 

"She's a social one, isn't she?" Apollo sarcastically remarked. 

Adiran frowned. "She's just--"

"I-I didn't mean it in a bad way, you don't have to jump to her defense." He draped an arm around him and lead him over to a couch. "Don't let her ruin it for you, she's just not the partying type."

'Like I am,' Adiran thought, practically shoved into a seat next to his cousin. There were loud conversations in every direction, some coherent, some slurred and confused. He looked to the couch next to them. He'd known the girls sitting there for years -- Moana Kalawaia'a and Meissa Star, friends of the family and the resident lovebirds that currently roomed next to him and contributed to the not-so-occasional nights spent with his pillow covering his ears -- and though they both had typically bubbly demeanors, something told him their case of the giggles was for other reasons. "...are they drunk?"

"Probably just tipsy," Apollo said. "Someone brought a keg and a few cases of fizzy juice."

Adiran wasn't given a chance to respond with the fact that this was very, very clearly beyond tipsy. 

"Heyyyy, Adiran!" Meissa cheerfully slurred, only now noticing his presence. "I'm sooo glad you came to a party for once! It's gonna be so much fun!"

Moana chuckled, much more sluggish than her partner. "Yeahhh, it's great to see you finally crawled out from under the big ol' rock you've been living under..."

Meissa's dopey grin abruptly turned to a frown. "I thought he lived in a dorm room..."

"I meant that figuratively, not literally..."

"Ohhh..."

He waved at them in greeting with a painfully awkward and half-hearted grin before turning to whisper. "This doesn't concern you at all?"

"What doesn't concern me?" Apollo leaned forward to grab a full bottle of fizzy juice off of the coffee table.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble we'd all be in if we were caught having wild parties with booze in our dorm? We could get expelled! What would our parents think?" 

"You still putting that much thought into what mommy and daddy say?" He snorted. "Relax. We aren't going to get caught."

"You don't know that!"

"What I do know is that you worry way too much and you don't take nearly enough chances. So what if we have wild dorm parties? That's just part of life. You're content to sit back and just watch it go by because you're mister responsible. That's sad," Apollo said with a sigh. He extended his bottle of juice over to him, earning an almost offended stare in response. "You ever drank?"

"N-Not a sip, why would I want to?" Adiran stammered. 

"You'd want to because it's fun. Here, it'll loosen you up for once in your life." He shoved the bottle into the other's hands. "Try it."

"I-I don't know if--"

"You can't tell me you've never wondered what it's like to be a normal guy your age. Have fun, do some stuff you're not supposed to do, get your mind off of your problems... we're young, it's okay for us to act like it!"

Adiran glanced between Apollo and the bottle in his now trembling hands. There was no winning -- he'd be nagged until he drank it. A part of him deep down wondered if his cousin was right; if he needed to let go of his responsibilities and just be a stupid, reckless college kid. It didn't feel right.

But he turned up the bottle and chugged it all down anyway. 

---

If there was one thing he was still capable of being certain of by the time he got to the bottom of the bottle, it was that he wouldn't remember most of this party by morning. His foggy mind didn't know how long he'd been here. Minutes? Years? Time is a construct when you're this drunk. It was only when he collided with someone that he grounded himself in some small amount of reality again.

"Heyyy, Zayyy," he slurred, "where you going?"

Zeta Star, his best friend, who was currently too drunk to stand up straight, made no effort to answer him. Instead, she just made a weird noise that kind of reminded him of a dying whale. Whatever that sounds like. 

Adiran giggled and draped an arm around her to offer support. "Welll, I'm glad to see you... but could you, uh... let go?"

"But you're holding onto me," she finally grumbled.

"Oh. Right..." His arms fell to his side. "Sorry..."

Zeta lifted her head and grinned. "Ooh, you don't have to be... I wasn't complaining..." 

His eyes snapped down to her arms, which only wrapped themselves tighter around his torso. "W-What?"

"In fact, maaaybe I'd love for you to hold onto me tighter..."

Even in his drunken daze, he had enough sense about him to make a futile attempt to detach her from him. "Uh... I don't get what you..."

"You're soooo dense, aren't you?" She gingerly traced a finger along his jaw. "I guess you've always been like that... but for once, you need to understand..."

He swallowed thickly, his stomach beginning to churn -- either from the alcohol or her. "U-Understand what?"

"That I'm reeeeally into you and we should make out..."

"What!?" Adiran choked out. His eyes were wide with something between astonishment and terror. "Y-You... no, no, you don't mean that. You're drunk, Zeta... we're drunk... in grade school, you told me you'd rather eat a bug than kiss me..."

Slowly, her hand ran down. From his shoulders, to his chest, to his stomach...

"Maaaybe I changed my mind..."

"H-Hey, let go! I'm not making out with you! I-I don't like you like that, okay!? It's-- it's nothing personal, I just... I'm not into..." Adiran's panicked voice trailed off. He shoved her away a little more harshly than he intended to and ran off to the bathroom, drunkenly stumbling the whole way there. 

___

"...Adiran?" 

He'd lost count of how many times he puked before he passed out. Honestly, he wasn't even sure he was fully conscious until the sound of Gabby's voice roused him. As she approached, he weakly lifted his head to look at her. "...I'm sooo drunk..."

"I could tell." Gabby sighed and struggled to pull him to his feet. "This isn't like you. Partying and drinking..."

"I knooow it seems like I don't care, but... people always say I'm a loser and stuff and I just... wanted to prove I'm cool for once... but then she started flirting with me and my asexuality started screaming internally... and nowww I'm puking..."

"H-Hey, it's gonna be okay. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. If anyone thinks you're a loser, that's on them." She draped his arm around her shoulders for support. "I think you're the coolest guy in the world."

"I think you're cool, too. And I don't even think most people are cool..."

"Well, you'd be the first person." She smiled regardless. "But I'm glad you think so."

He was quiet after that, as though lost in thought. She'd managed to drag him out of the stall when he finally spoke again.

"...Gabby?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm toootally gonna flunk the exams tomorrow, aren't I?"